Pilgrimage

I have of late been going out to downtown SF to do my ecstatic movement in the streets. I see it as a journey to see again the transformation about me that grace allows me at varying degrees. I call it a pilgrimage.

The idea was based on issues of defining a frame of presentation for what I do. As it is basically continuous and spontaneous it resists programmation. I decided to just do what I do in the context of a social space, an ecstatic in the flow of public concourse.

My basic trajectory is to walk in the most compelling direction through an act of surrender. This will often take me in circles, but this is not the point. Often I will stop suddenly as spontaneous movements emerge. This can get very intense as I allow it to move me as it will. I continue until they subside, and then look for another direction to begin walking again. I remind myself to move and see in a context of surrender.

I focus on the people around me as this is the greatest stimulus. I have positioned myself amongst the flow of pedestrians crossing the street, focusing on them as they come. I find myself awash in a river of people, from each I recognize something, like a ring of a bell, which energizes me. This is a very heady to experience.

The most consistent response from the public though is ignoring and avoiding me. People's faces are well guarded, to which it is easy to respond in like. But as one of my directives is to turn away from compulsions of self protection I once looked more deeply and saw their faces transform into amazing masks, each spilling over with their own particular wonderful rigid beauty.

One time at the corner of Market and Montgomery the environment suddenly shifted and I saw what I can only describe as heaven on earth. I began to weep openly, and the repetition of the words in my mind "heaven on earth" reinitiated the experience during several minutes. Nothing had changed visually, I was just seeing heaven on earth, as the tears rolled down my cheeks for all to see.

Now although I am behaving as a crazy person might, jumping about randomly, and although there is some apprehension in exposing myself this way in public, the far greater apprehension is in the anticipation of exposure to the expansive. My process is inclusive of the people, they become like ink to me, they are part of the whole. But the unfathomable intimacy in the transformation that I may experience exposes me to an extremely vulnerable level. What I may perceive is quite a lot to take in and will rend me, crack away at my identity. And it seems to me that I am being perceived just as deeply as I am perceiving, maybe even more so. And this is the goal. So when this is happening, the fact that it is happening in public space just doesn't hold any concern any more.

This is my art. I have a uniform I wear every time, white shirt, black pants, white shoes, with my blue metal water bottle on my belt. Also a small feather in my hair, as a headdress is essential. I take only what I will need to be there and make art. Maybe I will add some objects, things I have used in other events, but for now this is the setting. My art is in being an ecstatic in a public venue and bringing about the transformed experiences that grace will allow me through my efforts of surrender. I will be on pilgrimage making art again soon.