The First Day

It was a Sunday evening, November 22, 2002, when I first started drawing automatically. I was asked by a friend to make a design for them. I took out the board from under my bed to use as a drawing table. It was large board with a smooth and white formica top. First though I just decided to draw for myself.

Somewhere in the activity I began to notice a movement churning inside me when concentrating on making sure every line had intent and integrity of its own. I had noticed this movement inside while also drawing a year before and thought it curious to feel it again. I decided to explore it.

Here is the series of drawings in order of how they were made that evening that led to me automatically drawing.

Below is a drawing I was playing with when noticed the movement again inside me. I tried to focus on it when making some of these marks here, seeing how my concentration could bring it out.

I decided to focus on the movement more than on the drawing, to let the activity of drawing bring it out.

I closed my eyes to better feel the movement and found it growing. My body began to spontaneously shake and gyrate. But when I opened my eyes I returned to the activity of drawing. I could feel the link of control of my mind over my hand.

At some point in here when I opened my eyes again I saw my hand moving about on its own automatically. The link of control was no longer there. I was a witness to the activity of my drawing. This was a very surprising moment.

Here is what I drew the next day.

Here is what I drew the day after.

When I look at these images now I cannot fully recall how profound the experience was of first discovering this movement inside me that drew by itself. It changed the direction of my life, one in which I am still following.

The next two months were incredibly intense for me with many strange spontaneous experiences. They were perhaps not a strange as what I have discovered since that heady time, but for a while I was completely immersed in a newly opening and unfamiliar world.